my kid: whats for dinner
me: THIS FAT ASSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: *does split on the kitchen table*
I have fruit polos and lollypops be jealous.
omg do many people not know what fruit polos are? they are heaven
In America, we call them lifesavers. They can be chewy or hard candy.
polos aren’t chewy and they also come in mint.
this week on: britan thinks its special
This week on america copies everything from Britain.
HOLD THE FUCK UP
The reason why the room was pink was because on black and white film, hues of red become dark shades of black. Pink is the perfect balance to give it that dark creepy grey.
YOU CANT SPRINT WITH US
imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told
IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”
what about a book of all the lies people have told you
Oh how the tables have tabled
Tables have tabled